Should You be Fun and Energetic, OR Calm and Relaxed...when Talking to Women?

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by: GabrielAngelo
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Word Count: 421
Date: Tue, 1 Mar 2011 Time: 11:33 AM
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So there you are talking to a woman, and you start to think "How am I coming across to this girl?" "Do I sound weird?" "Should I talk faster to get her excited, or should I talk slower to draw her in and mesmerize her?"

Now this is when social calibration comes in my friend. Social calibration is tweaking your social performance for that particular situation for desired outcome you want.

Ask yourself what you are trying to accomplish when you are talking to the other person.

Would you talk in a calm and relaxed voice in a loud night club to get a group of girls' attention with all the other stimuli going around?

Do psychologists ever talk in an energetic and fast paced tone to build trust with their patients to get them toreveal their deep dark secrets?

Speak energetically when you want to grab attention and people to focus on you.

Speak slowly and rhythmically if you are trying to build a deeper connection.

If you were in a night club interacting with a girl, start off the interaction being energetic and animated to keep her attention, and then change to the calm and slow voice when you are trying to build that rapport.

Loud and energetic grabs the attention on you and make you memorable, but to take that deeper into a connection, go slow and paced.

fast and energetic = attention-grabbing and keeping focus on you (superficial)

slow and calm = profound and stronger impact/persuasive (deep)

If the interaction is already put you on the spotlight, talk in a slow and rhythmic voice; however if there are possibility for distraction, be energetic and animated to keep the attention on you and to get it back when distractions come up.

Some great examples are go on YouTube and watch some of Leonardo DiCaprio's 1-on-1 interviews, take notes how articulate he talks and calm and controlled his voice is.

There isn't any need to force himself to be loud and energetic to grab any attention because it is already focused on him and regardless though, he makes us drawn into his speech effortlessly.

If there is no need to talk energetically to put you in the spotlight and convey your point across, talk slowly. Talking fast-paced and energetic needs a lot more energy, it's better to be conservative with your energy.

About the Author

Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your "social skills" to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women...but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.

For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.